Dear Blog,
If you were a person I would apologize for neglecting you. As you are not, however, real, I’ll refrain from dialoguing with inanimate objects.
But are you really inanimate? You hyperlink when you get emotional, and I’m sure PMS would make it worse. Image as proof is your way of winning the argument, isn’t it Blog?
And when you spring up onto my screen it is always with a little snigger of derision. WRITE, you snarl. I DARE YOU. publish… you whisper, welding your circutry to my lungs. Press PUBLISH! PUBLISH!!!
You are the second voice in my head. I move my fingers to type into your lovely little cerebrum when I’m walking around campus. People must think I’m crazy, walking around perpetually typing on your keys even though I am absent from the computer. I’ll just write mean things about them- like you, yes you! That boy in the ugly pee colored jacket. I saw you looking! My girlfriend wouldn’t appreciate it (even if she is digital)!
Oh dearest blog, I was so infatuated with you in the beginning. You were a beautiful example of January, wearing your widgets and header picture so frosty but innocent.
And then I defiled you with my crazy stories, drinking tea and typing. I made it all warm in your URL, HTML, and other code…. you couldn’t help but fall for the zany author filling your free web space.
Now, I’m afraid we’ll have to break it off. Spring comes, and so do classes. And then Study Abroad. Dear lord, where will I find the internet? DON’T MAKE ME DIVORCE MY BLOG FOR NO GOOD REASON!!!
In the end, Blog, bloggy bloggy bloggy blog- I will try and keep you well informed of my movements round the campus, through intellectual theory, and in the world.
Don’t make too many new friends without me.
Love,
your Grammaticus
that was great – really got me thinking about all the mind games I play with things and stuff and ideas – like willing iTunes to have cd track names in its database, or willing that I put enough lead into a pencil before a note-heavy class, or willing my inbox to load emails faster…completely weird, I know.